Well you’ve been a splendid audience, but now the time is passed

So don’t you all be letting the door hit you in the ass

You’ve been a lovely audience, but enough is enough

We’d take a drink kindly if you’d all just bugger off

Here’s to barkeep and waitresses been serving you your beers

They’ve put up with your noxious breath and stupid drunken leers

Be leaving all your money on the table when you go

For all you’ll have a throbbing head and nothing else to show

Here’s to all the lovely people who might be waiting for the band

And thinking one of them might make a charming one night stand

Please don’t be offended, this song’s not meant for you

And we’ll be happy to oblige you when this nasty job is through

So you’ve been promising the ladies a night of loving bliss

But truth be told you’re far to drunk to stand up straight and piss

So give it up you bloody sots, you’ll not be getting laid

And the sooner that you’re out the door the sooner we’ll get paid