I thought I heard the Old Gal say

Floral condoms condoms too-ri-ay

It’s floral condoms for you today

Floral condoms condoms too-ri-ay

Female condoms are flower print…

They come in flavors like chocolate and mint…

No floral condoms for me today

That is if you want me to stay

It’s a floral condom for you today

That is if you want any play

Flowers should stay in a flower pot

As long as you’ve got your Depo shot

Floral condoms are not well built

If you use one you’re flower’ll wilt

Guys like condoms with monster trucks

They’re the perfect thing to suck or fuck

Get some mouthwash just in case

Floral condoms have authentic dirt taste

This talk of flowers sure makes me ill

As of right now I’m on the pill

Let’s hear it for all forms of birth control

Because they let you take a roll

This birth control I do not like

So I decided to become a dyke

Oh you don’t need a condom when you’re on a boat

’Cause you can’t make a baby in the cabin boy’s throat

Oh you don’t need a condom when you’re on the pier

’Cause you can’t make a baby in the cabin boy’s rear

Oh you don’t need a condom when you’re at sea

’Cause scurvy’s not an STD

So it’s growl ye may or go you must

If you growl to loud your head you’ll bust

It’s one more thrust and that will do

We’ve got condoms we won’t break through